Close up:
How far along? 34 weeks
Maternity clothes? Nothing new.
Stretch marks? Two small patches on my lower belly and on my girls.
Sleep: Well my friends, I have officially moved out. Moved out of our master bedroom that is. I am now sleeping in the guest room and let me tell you something...it's the best decision I have made. I get WAY more sleep in that bed. I still wake up to go to the bathroom around 2:00 -3:00 AM and have to
Best moment this week: Hearing our baby boy's heart beat after a very stressful afternoon!! (more on this below).
Anything making you queasy or sick: No
Gender: BOY.
Belly Button in or out? IN.
Wedding rings on or off? Bands AND ring are now off.
Miss Anything? A normal back...one that doesn't ache.
Food cravings: Refer to the board this week :) Huge emphasis on FRIED PICKLES.
Labor Signs: No and I'm scared I am not going to know the difference between Braxton Hicks and contractions.
Symptoms: Back aches, acid reflux, swollen fingers when I'm hot...the usual :)
Happy or moody? Happy. Blessed. Grateful. Anxious.
Looking forward to: Hitting week 37!! ...Then I will be considered FULL TERM! It's crazy to think that this little boy can come anytime between 3-6 weeks! I am hoping more towards the 6 week mark because I want him to be as close to 40 weeks as possible .....but NOT a day over!! :) I am really hoping he comes on his due date...but that rarely EVER happens (wishful thinking!!).
Ok: So I have a little very long story for ya....
Friday afternoon I was at a friends house. She was having an 'end of the summer' pool party. Of course you know I wasn't swimming. In fact I was sitting down inside on her couch (IN THE AC) with my feet propped up on the ottoman for about 2 hours...just chatting with girlfriends from work. I decided I needed to go to the bathroom so I excused myself. Once in the bathroom I noticed a fairly decent amount of blood in my underwear (we are getting real personal here people...I have to document it all!). I immediately FREAK OUT and started to panic. I know that bleeding anytime during your pregnancy is never a good sign....at least that's what I was told. I didn't know what to do...was I supposed to go out and let everyone see me like this? or was I supposed to get myself together, walk out and just tell everyone I was leaving. I chose to go with the 2nd option- less dramatic. I got my keys, said my goodbye's, and RAN to my car. I closed the door and cried my eyes out for a good minute before I calmed down enough to call the nurse at the doctor's office. I could barely get out my problem to her on the phone because I was panicking and my voice was cracking so bad. I was trying so hard to keep it together. I was terrified. Every horror story about someone losing their baby people thought they had to share with me these past 8 months were running through my mind. I was assuming the worst. Now, once the nurse understood what I was saying my panic level WENT TO AN ALL TIME HIGH. Her response to me was "how far along are you? oh, that's not good...you need to get to the ER NOW!!". So...I hung up, cried a little harder, put my car in drive and called John. Then, I called my Mom. They both met me at the hospital. It was the longest ride to Celebration ever. I walked into the ER, mascara running down my face, looking like a hot mess and asked for directions to "The Baby Place". I could tell John was scared too. We didn't speak a word the entire way up to the 4th floor of the hospital. After asking several questions they placed me in triage. It was a tiny room that John and I barely fit into. My Mom wasn't allowed back so she waited in the waiting room. The first thing they did was hook me up to a heart beat monitor. The second we heard that sweet sound we both started to cry (don't tell him I told you that). I looked over at John and my heart melted, you could tell that he was just so happy to hear that sound. We both were. It was the sound of relief. We knew our baby was okay at that moment in time. I sighed the biggest sigh and put my head back on the pillow. I could finally breath. The nurse looked at me and said "well, that's a good sign". They called my doctor and he ordered a ultrasound. I was wheeled downstairs (by the way- being in a wheel chair is so embarrassing to me. I felt like people were starring at me. I was perfectly capable of walking and I insisted but the transportation guy would not allow me too). In the ultrasound room I kept asking questions. The nurse kept telling me "I am not allowed to tell you any results"...but I kept asking probing questions anyways. I wanted SOME sort of information out of her. As she was leaving and I was getting cleaned off she whispered to me "I'm not supposed to tell you this but I want to let you know that you can stop worrying. Everything looks fine." And then she walked out. Another sigh of relief!! I shared the news with John. We went back upstairs and the nurse gave me a tiny blue pill to "calm my cervix"....BECAUSE I WAS HAVING MILD CONTRACTIONS!! I didn't feel a thing and was wondering why she was asking me so many times if I was having contractions. At one point she looked at me and said "you can't feel that?". I guess that's a good sign! Maybe I won't feel my contractions during labor (hahaha there goes that wishful thinking again). The nurse read my results from the ultrasound and told me that I wasn't to report back to work until I saw my doctor again and sent us on our merry way. They never told me the cause of the bleeding- they don't even know...only mentioned that everything looks normal and that I needed to follow up with another appointment on Monday. We left the hospital, went to eat at Moes, and I stayed on the couch all weekend long (ok, maybe I mopped one time---shhh!!) Monday morning I went to the doctor, they cleared me to go back to work, and since last Saturday I have had no more bleeding. This may not seem like a big deal to most. In fact, some friends have told me that this happened to them during all of their pregnancies. However, when it's your first baby, you have no clue what to expect, having blood come out of you when it's not 'supposed' too, can cause you to have a panic attack. We are so very thankful that this turned out to be nothing and we are extremely grateful that Croix is still healthy. I hope no one has to go through that feeling. It was absolutely horrible not knowing if there was something wrong with him.
On to my next story....
John and I toured the hospital on Tuesday night (yes, even though we went in for the emergency visit Friday before). It was such a nice little tour. I love celebration hospital. Everyone seems so friendly there (let's hope I still feel the same while I am in labor). The first room we visited was the "Labor and Delivery room". Well, this is where is all went down hill for me. We walked in (with 3 other couples) and my hands start to immediately sweat---like, really sweat. I take a look around and wait for it.....I START TO CRY. Hahaha. Isn't that funny? I quickly caught myself and sucked it up. The girl giving the tour looked at me with a concerned look and I quickly looked away hoping she wouldn't call me out. Thank goodness she didn't. No one noticed, not even John. I was extremely OVERWHELMED and TERRIFIED the second I entered that room. When I mentioned I am scared to give birth, it was not a lie. At all. I imagined myself laying in that bed with the doctor and nurses all around me and I just couldn't handle it. I am really nervous for how this is all going to play out. I do NOT deal well with pain. I absolutely hate hospitals. They all gross me out and I associate them with bad events. Everyone keeps telling me "it will all be worth it when he comes and you get to hold him for the first time"...Yes, I understand that and even agree with that statement BUT I SITLL HAVE TO GET THROUGH THE BIRTHING PROCESS PEOPLE!!!!! Epidural or not (but definitely Epidural) it's a scary, scary thing to think about. I'm hoping that as the weeks go on I will be less and less terrified and just overwhelmed with the fact that he will soon be here. Let's pray for thaT, OK?. I don't want to have a heart attack while in the hospital trying to deliver our first born son.
Now-- enough with the dramatic stories! Positive note: 6 MORE WEEKS. That's 43 days from today!! Can I get an AMEN!??
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